dietsch

December Saturday

Saturday was Santa shopping. Santa shopping? Heh. Wait and see. Anyway, I had plans to meet Todd, Lauren, and Stacey on the Lower East Side. We were going to meet, have a few drinks, Santa-shop, eat, and then head to the Village for Moonwork. Stacey recommended Iggy's Keltic Lounge, on Ludlow St. What a place. I walked in just after 4, and saw Lauren and Todd huddled up in the corner. At the bar were a group of middle-aged, whooping and hollering. Behind the bar, Iggy held court, drunker than any patron in the place. The Pogues jigged on the jukebox. Great. Irish pub. Pogues on the jukebox. Drunk bartender. This is either a bad movie or a crazy-ass New York moment. I went to the bar for a drink. Iggy ignored me. I stood, trying to make eye contact, flag him down, throw glasses at his head--whatever it took. A woman seated at the bar turned and said, "Hi. What'll you have?" I asked for a Guinness, and she got up, walked around behind the bar, and pulled a pint. I paid and went back to Lauren and Todd. "Fairytale of New York" came over the jukebox. December. Irish pub. Pogues on the jukebox. Of fucking course, "Fairytale of New York" was on the juke. Iggy gathered up everyone in the bar and got 'em dancing, and then into a group hug. Lauren, Todd, and I sat and watched, and then he came over to lure us in. We all declined. He distracted us with a story, and then, when our guard was down, he took Lauren by the hand and whisked her to the dance floor. Stacey walked in at this point. "Where's Lauren?" We pointed at Iggy. "Ohhhh." She went up the bar for a drink. Before she could make it, Iggy grabbed her and yanked her into the dance also. Todd and I laughed and watched. Lauren returned, breathless, and then Stacey came back also. One of the guys, Irving or something, was this 50-year old guy from Florida who'd never been to New York. His wife brought him up for his birthday. After the dancing ended, he approached the TV, where a college football game lit up the screen. "Oh, this is horrible!" he exclaimed, and then, "Brenda! Come here! I can't see the score. Read me the score!" Irving and Brenda and all their new friends left the pub. Another bartender was on duty, so Iggy and his girlfriend (the woman who pulled my pint) left to go to his uptown joint. The four of us finished our drinks and then headed off for Santa stuff. We returned to Iggy's around 6:30. Todd and I walked next door and ordered cheeseburgers and arranged to have them brought to the bar. A different crowd was trickling in. Younger people, yuppy stockbroker types. We sat and kibbutzed and mocked. A little before 8, we left, and headed around the corner to Toys in Babeland. Todd bought Lauren a gun-shaped vibrator. I picked up Christmas cards for naughty friends. We ooohed over a beautiful Pyrex dildo, with a blue design spiraling up through the glass. Leaving Babeland, we caught a cab to the Village and went up to Moonwork. This is a crazy place, but I dig it.