dietsch

Things I learn on the subway

F train, Brooklyn. A woman boards the train, asks for our attention, and explains that certain FBI agents and CIA agents have grown tired of going door to door masquerading as Jehovah's Witnesses. These agents want Americans to know that the September 2001 attacks were engineered by "the Mormon Mafia," which is, at this moment, orchestrating another attack on the U.S. for later this summer. This woman also says that two FBI agents--black agents, she's quick to point out--warn that one day "Black and Hispanic youth will wake up" and realize that the entire hip-hop culture has been engineered by the CIA as a ploy to destroy minority youth. So away with you, Special Agent Fiddy Cent--you ain't touchin' our kids.